Submitted by Michelle D. from Ontario, Canada

I am 47 years old and have been dealing with depression for over 20 years.

The constant negative thoughts…

It kept me stuck in my self-doubt and continued self-sabotage. I felt like a failure and worthless. The continued depression caused gut issues, including Candida and Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO). These issues further caused inflammation and pain in my body and added to the depression.

Before I came to Cannabis 

I was always looking for ways to feel better. I wasn't happy, and everything I tried was temporary because my negative thoughts kept resurfacing. I thought I would feel better if I just had a better job, a nicer home, a trip somewhere warm or if I looked better. I kept trying different diets and workout plans. I bought all the supplements, diet pills, and programs out there. 

The self-sabotaging language that kept coming up was, "You're not worth all this effort," It usually had me quit after three weeks. Then I would add one more thing to my list of failures and spin into thoughts about all the things (I thought) I wasn’t good at. I tried counseling but never really connected with anything for long.

I resigned myself to staying on medication forever

The person that directed me toward cannabis was my personal trainer. She collaborated with other fitness trainers in California, who were ahead of Canada in using cannabis for exercise and effective muscle recovery. 

She was so pumped about the medical uses of cannabis. She and her husband went on to open three dispensaries in three Northwest Ontario towns. Since our Canadian stores are recreational only, she enthusiastically backs me up in my efforts to talk about cannabis as medicine. However, she can't publicly be affiliated with someone who talks about medical benefits because of the backward laws around cannabis and recreational stores in Canada. 

I am hopeful that the education cannabis coaches and educators are bringing to the world will help change this future relationship with dispensaries and the many benefits of this plant. I am grateful to her for being a big part of my healing journey by making me show up for myself when I was feeling my worst, to a workout, by encouraging me to be proud of myself, and introducing cannabis to me in a whole new perspective.

Letting go of alcohol

When cannabis became legal across Canada in October 2018, I had no problem letting go of alcohol and substituting cannabis socially. I would tell all my friends that there are no calories in cannabis, I don't get itchy skin or a red face as I do with alcohol, and there are no hangovers the next day. 

I am a proud cannabis consumer and talk openly about my new business and the Effective Cannabis Newsletter in grocery stores and wherever I have an opportunity. 

Cannabis is my favourite subject to talk about

The more I learned, the more I wanted to share. I started by making edibles and learning about cannabinoids and why we must decarboxylate the plant material before cooking with it. 

I learned how vital dosing math is so you or a friend doesn't have an uncomfortable experience. 

I took the Cannabis Sommelier program to learn more about the origins and components of the plant. I learned how essential terpenes are in selecting the perfect cultivar for you. 

I continued my studies by taking the Cannabis Health Coach course with the Cannabis Coaching Institute and even further into the medical benefits with the Healer CBD class with Dr. Dustin Sulak. 

I continue to learn every month when we collect information and hear patient stories for the EC newsletter.  

I only consumed in the evenings after work

I started by using a dry herb vaporizer and trying different chemovars. I only consumed it in the evenings, after work, or in other social gatherings. Myrcene, beta-caryophyllene, and kush lineages helped me relax and be in the present moment. 

I enjoyed cooking dinner when it used to give me anxiety. I shut off the negative thoughts and experienced everything with a fresh perspective. When I was living in the present moment and using all my senses with intention, music sounded better, colors looked brighter, food tasted amazing, and even movies were more profound. That's a significant change from the dullness of depression. 

You can’t be depressed and in awe at the same time.

Once I realized how good I could feel, it made me more curious

I was already making edibles for recreational use with THC anywhere from 10-20 mg. 

After going through the Cannabis Coaching Institute, I started incorporating CBD and CBG and using THC in microdoses in my "Bliss" Cookies. These kept me stable as I finally worked off my antidepressants. 

CBG is my favourite cannabinoid because it helps to calm fight-or-flight feelings and regulate the nervous system. It helped with the anxiety of speaking my truth and owning my thoughts. 

The triple combo of THC, CBD, and CBG was my perfect dose and what I needed on a daily basis until I learned self-compassion and gratitude.

I was sure that I had a chemical imbalance and that I was just different

My doctor assured me there were no long-term side effects from staying on antidepressants for the rest of my life. 

The meds avoided the real issues and numbed all my emotions so I wouldn't overreact in situations. I wouldn’t even call those meds anti ”Depressant"; I would call them anti "Emotions". The depression remained, but the emotional outbursts and reactions were tamed. 

They numbed the sadness, guilt, and shame, but they also dulled the excitement, happiness, and love. This wasn't living; it was just existing. 

Cannabis got me out of my head and into the real issue

I used to think that my depression was causing all my negative thoughts, but now I know that it was the negative thoughts that were causing the depression. 

Cannabis got me out of my head and into the real issue. It helped me process what kept me stuck. 

Cannabis helped me see the patterns that kept showing up in my environment 

I learned how to change my behaviour and perspective. I was also able to change other behaviours, like having a consistent morning exercise routine, with meditation, and writing. 

Meditation has been a big part of turning off my "critter brain" or "monkey mind." It's exhausting having all of that noise in your head all day. 

I have more energy to get out of bed early and do a stretch, yoga, or even a weightlifting routine or plyometrics. 

I listen to what my body needs each day and still show up. I have continued this morning routine for over 33 weeks at the time of writing this. 

I can no longer make the excuse that I am consistently inconsistent. It's just not who I am anymore. It made me realize that I had control over my environment.

I stay curious every day about how I feel

I pay attention to the food I fuel myself with. I exercise at a level where I can grow and expand but not stress my body. 

I see how I affect people in my life with my energy and how I respond to other people's energy. 

I no longer react but assess my responses non-judgmentally and advocate for my well-being

Cannabis changed my mental health, which allowed me to improve my physical health and elevate my spirituality. 

That is the power of the plant!

This is Michelle's personal story and not meant to be medical advice. It is for informational purposes.

To work with a medical Cannabis professional, please visit our directory of coaches, educators, and medical professionals. She is listed as CannaWell with Michelle. Everyone's Endocannabinoid System (ECS) is different; good results start with the right approach. You don't have to figure it out on your own.

If you need help with any terminology in this article, you may find some answers in our glossary.

Effective Cannabis Newsletter is a platform to educate on the vital role of the Endocannabinoid System (ECS) in one's health. The information is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information contained in or available through this newsletter is for general information purposes only. It is not medical advice; it is health awareness.