Submitted by Mandy K. from Pennsylvania

I'm 37 years old. I'm From Pennsylvania. I've been dealing with PTSD, anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, bipolar, and multiple sclerosis.

The things I was dealing with when I started Cannabis were all mental issues

Depression that was so unreal I'd stay in bed for days at a time. I was anxious and could never relax; always felt as if something terrible was going to happen. Sleep? What's that? I was lucky if I slept an hour or 2 a night.

There was just so much going on, even still... today.. so much going on that I don't know how to deal with, I don't know what to do... but when things get to be way too much, I'm able to use Cannabis and it helps me put things in perspective and calm down. Nothing else can do that for me and I've tried so many big pharma meds with awful outcomes.

I was put on big pharma meds at the age of 6 and was on/off them until I was around 34 years old.

I tried so many different things before I tried Cannabis. I was also in/out of therapy. I exercised, I tried eating differently when I was able to afford it. None of it worked for how I felt. Instead, the antidepressants (SSRIs) did Permanente damage to my brain. I also have a twitch in my right leg that starts as soon as I get comfortable at night and it can be very painful and takes hours to go away if it all, keeping me up all night long. I'm not a fan of big pharma or doctors so I do my best to stay away from both after dealing with them from the age of 6 and only getting worse.

I finally had enough and finally said no more!

I tried to go off of my medications due to awful doctors and other terrible side effects with no good outcomes, I had not only horrible withdrawal that I do believe still lasts to this day I also had 2 back to back seizures a few minutes apart. I've never had a single seizure before, let alone 2 back to back.

When I reached out to my doctor that following Monday, his secretary wouldn't let me speak with him; told me she would pass along my message. I finally spoke with him 6 months later. With all that said, how many people are known to have seizures when they stop smoking Cannabis for 1 day or what feels like a forever-lasting withdrawal if they were to stop smoking totally? Nobody.

While I had already been a user of Cannabis for a while, my friend William Brown is the person who educates me.

He is one of the people who helps to create and put out this newsletter. I'm able to speak with him frequently about my ailments and what is going on and his knowledge about Cannabis is incredible. When I tell you he's better than ANY doctor I've ever had, I mean it.

He cares, he takes the time to talk with me and we talk about the benefits of different kinds of terpenes in Cannabis, what terpenes do, and how they work. What strains I could use for the different kinds of ailments I suffer from? He's been my Cannabis coach and mentor for some years now, he cares and takes the time to show me that there are other ways to manage what I'm dealing with other than big pharma.

It really is a miracle…it helps me with everything!

I think the stigma behind Cannabis is anything but a joke

The issue I have the most is the constant struggle trying to afford Cannabis medicine because insurance does not cover it. It's a big source of anxiety for me, being able to get the medication that truly helps me.

Anytime I tell ANY doctor that I use Cannabis to help with everything that is wrong, they give me the third degree on why it’s not and why the hot new SSRI or antidepressant is better. When I say anything about the side effects, they roll their eyes and act like they didn’t hear me. The misinformation doctors spread about Cannabis is crazy. They grasp at straws, they are like one of those awful 90’s TV ads “This is your brain on drugs!” after I tell them I prefer Cannabis over big pharma. I’d like to not share what they say to me bc I’m more curious of other's issues with this also.

I’m made to feel guilty

My family overall, when it comes to Cannabis and my use of it, all know it works but every single one of them still thinks I should be on medication since I can’t afford the amount of Cannabis I need to really stay stable. I have to smoke multiple times daily because I am just a ball of anxiety.

They don’t understand, they say they do, then lecture me when it’s time to purchase more. I hear “Just go back on the medicine, that’s free” more times than I’d care to admit.

To everyone really who doesn't know me VERY personally, “I’m just some lazy jobless loser who doesn’t want to do a damn thing.” It's just my luck, some people will just never know or care to understand.

Enter Multiple Sclerosis…

My mind loves to save all my terrible memories like Egyptian hieroglyphics and the good ones like chalk on a sidewalk after it rained. I’ve also been finding out that MS is an insanely misunderstood disease. If I don’t have Cannabis I’m in a constant state of body aches, irrational fears that make no sense, outbursts, crying over nothing/everything and so so much more. I’m not sure any person would want to feel this way constantly.

Smoking Cannabis is what takes all of that away for me. The MS complications go away, the aches, the pains, the awful horrid thoughts, the anxiety that stops me from doing anything at all. Utilizing Cannabis I can function enough to get out of bed and at this point for me, that is a victory.

For me flower is always my go-to, it's what works the best for me

I've tried THC in all kinds of forms but I really do prefer Cannabis flower. I use a glass bowl (pipe) with a ridiculous amount of glitter/gel in it to match my personality. As for dosing, I medicate on an as-needed basis when I can afford to purchase.

I KNOW how I feel when I smoke VS when I don’t. When I don’t, I’m not a nice person because of the pain in my body overall from the MS.

Before I started to use Cannabis, I never knew what it was like to just relax and breathe

I was a constant ball of anxiety that didn't sleep. It’s been exactly a year since my MS diagnosis. I started noticing things in my mind being off even before that, maybe a year or so. More anger, more violent bad thoughts mostly about myself.. then the depression that I swear got worse daily.

Cannabis has helped me with so many things it's unreal

I was a late bloomer when it came to Cannabis, I didn't start smoking until my mid-20s and when I did start it was a game changer. At the time I was suffering from very bad anxiety, bipolar episodes, depression and pretty much all the symptoms (bad things) that go along with each condition.

I still battle with so much to this day, but being able to incorporate Cannabis into my day makes dealing with it all bearable.

I can say that trying Cannabis saved my life and made the quality of it so much better. In my mid-30s I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis around one of the worst times of my life but being able to use Cannabis helped so much.

Cannabis is so helpful! I'm not sure what I would do now, today without Cannabis.

This is Mandy’s personal story and not meant to be medical advice. It is for informational purposes.

To work with a medical Cannabis professional, please visit our directory of coaches, educators, and medical professionals. Everyone’s Endocannabinoid System (ECS) is different; good results start with the right approach. You don’t have to figure it out on your own.

 If you need help with any terminology in this article, you may find some answers in our glossary.